


Simon Spier is a He Him Lesbian

by yuckys



Category: Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli, Simonverse | Creekwood Series - Becky Albertalli
Genre: F/F, Gen, M/M, he him lesbians, my bff komaeda nagito helped me, this is a joke, y'all suck dick
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 19:47:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16898817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuckys/pseuds/yuckys
Summary: After Bram transitions Simon is left to handle his feelings regarding his sexuality.READ MY NEW SEXY STORY NAMED JEREMY HEERE IS A HE HIM LESBIAN





	1. A quick realization

**Author's Note:**

> this is a joke lol please forgive my bad writing

It's been a long day at my school dealing with truscums and terfs. How dare they think you need dysphoria to be trans? After Garrett and his asshole bitchass boyfriend spraypainted faggot on my car, I had to spend hours repainting my car. I just hate those incels. 

I was heading to my car when I got a text from my boyfriend, Bram.

 

bramcracker💋💋👀👀: Hey, Simon. I have to tell you something. 

twinksandoreos: yah what 

bramcracker💋💋👀👀: I'm transgender.

twinksandoreos: 😂😂😂😂

*freezeframe* You're all probably wondering how I got myself into this situation. Let me tell you the story of how I ended up as a he/him lesbian.


	2. A quick talk with Leah

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon talks to Leah, fellow he him lesbian
> 
> next chapter is Simon and Nick smut enjoy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i got 52 hits thanks loyal fans

Iwas thinking about Bram's text all day. What does this mean for our relationship? He? She? Cis? S-sans? N-no! Well, I don't know what to think anymore...

I decided to call Leah, since she's known for switching her gender every 2 weeks. Right now she's masc aligned Minecraft fluid, a big change from her previous non-binary Mcdonalds chicken nugget skin demon.

I click on her killing stalking profile picture and hit her up.

"Hey üwû."

"Hey so . o.o Basically Bram said he's trans."

It took Leah a while to respond, I knew she was just as surprised as I was! After all, we are but only dateing! I'd trust her to tell me anything new.

"yeah.. Simon she's been out for like a week lmfaooo >.>"

The fuck u mean? A week? I'm his? Boyfriend??? why didn't she tell me before? Why didn't HE tell me before?!

"what the fuck why didn't u tell me this? ówô"

"Too busy reading Harry Potter fanfiction LMFAOOOOOOOOO fAGGOT"

she hung up. Bastard. I'll ask Garrett to spray paint Lardo on her car. 

After pulling up into my driveway, I sat down and lowkey contemplated life. Then I went inside and slammed my bedroom door... Le Sigh.

I changed out of my booty shorts and put on Nora's old My Chemical Romance shirt. Still smells like sweat and, the dirt on the floor of hospitals.

I laid on my bed, pushing away my shadow the edgehog plushies, regreting not putting on something other than a t-shirt. It's pretty cold man. I put on my k-pop blood lip tinter, red expo eyeliner and my Gucci gang brand headphones to listen to the Black Parade album, for the thrid time today...


	3. a quick fuck with nick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick and Simon smut

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry. I wrote like 5 sentences of this. also apparently Nick drowned in the working of this

After licherally listening to My Chemical Romance for 3 hours and 24 minutes, I had to stop because my ears were cumming. 😂😂😂😂

As soon as I got up, my phone pinged. A next from Nick? This late?

nick: send pussy pic

nick: wrong person

What?! Didn't Nick have a girlfriend? Wait, maybe this was meant for Abby? I don't know why but I have this urge to comply with his request.

twinksandoreos: UUWWHAHAHAH H, Hh,h,h, aare you sure?? oopa oni-chan?!? i wouldn't mind it.. if that's what you really want?

nick: uh sure, just don't send a picture of your nipples

Is Nick hitting on me? Isn't he so fucking straight though? Maybe he's so straight he's gay.. that's a thing. Maybe he wants to experiment. The entire soccer team is already fucking guys just to see what its like, it's time for Nick to try it out. Why me though, is it my time to rose bud my asshole?

I have a boyfriend too, you know! Or girlfriend. I don't really know what he is. He won't respond to me after I literally laughed my ass off and then started crying hysterically when it finally hit me how serious this really was. 

Whatever! Enough thinking. Just send a dick pic, Simon! Damn. Even though he said dont, no means yes to me. Faggy ass Fred figglehorn looking ass built like a coke bottle-

I pulled my pokemon boxers down after my personal roast session. I think my dicks pretty cool imoooo. I mean, its a little rank rn, I haven't showered since I found out I was gay. I send Nick the picture.

nick: damn babe i never knew you were so well hung wanna sawcon my balls at my parents cousin's brother's friend's from mexico's Pool House baybbe

Well it's like fucking 12:00...seems safe to me

twinksandoreos: sure and thanks it took me a while to ac

twinksandoreos: didn't mean to send early lol

nick: please stop talking

twinksansorrows: hey after comparing dixs xd can we compare chromosomes???

Nick: shut the fuck up

 

***  
I pulled up to Nick's parent's cousin's brother's friend's from Mexico's pool house, (which was quite familiar to me, looking identically to isis's headquarters. I'm so sorry.) and went to the backyard.

Nick waited for me there in booty swim shorts, with heart soccer balls highlighting his strong manhood.

"Killer keemstar here!!," he shouted out to me, "Simone!"

"Hey... unu..

His Minecraft undies showed his owo buldge so nicely, in fact, the cweepy creeper on them only made his levathine chod.. wow I am a home of sect walls. I couldn't keep my teen infested hormoned eyes off them.

"Whatcha lookin at?" That stupid bitchass Nick knew but he teased me anyways and I popped a family guy boner on site.

"Nothing much teehee! Nice swimsuit though."

I uwued the problem away and got into the pool. He followed after with his his sweet preteen bod.

We tried to make casual banter about my tranny significant other but while I was swimming I accidentally swam/rammed into his ass ! Oh no this is sooowo embwarrassing.

"Hey there if you want it you can just ask~" he batted his pink glitter force eyelashes at me. Damn smexy..

I took off my waffle swim trunks  
IMMEDIATELY for caliante papi Nick and he did the samething at the same time unironically. 

But what I didn't know was that his balls had skin tags !!! Ew. But he's still smexy. His huge yogurt slinger made my boy pussy quiver in delight.

He put his dick in my ass and I ahegaod hard before jizzing immediately.

"A A A UUUWWAHHH AHA UH UGAUUHHHH...gomenosorry... I'll still do it again though, if you beg nicely." I apologized and he thrusted again.

"Wow babe.. You feel just like fuckinf a pool noodle, not like I've done that before or anything." Its amazing, he sctrached his head magically like a anime school boy as he said those magic words, like in my fantasies. Not that ive ever fantasized about fucking him! ...shut up

He fucked and he jizzed in my asshole but it was okay because the cool chlorine pool water cleaned it up. I passed out on site and almost crowned but he used his dicks sheer force to pull me out of the pool. Still attached to it I woke up and smiled. 

"Thanks."

That's when it hit me, his balls. Wait...I..I just fucked Nick?! My poor tranny bf? gf.... I feel so bad. But at least my ass is riped, ripe and well fucked!

"No problem babe, anything for my little monster, my little trumplican.." He said, bouncing me on his monster cock-a-doodle-wa-hoo!

"Thanks oni-chan..just don't tell my tranny bf/gf." I pleaded, twisting his bouncy ball moles, just the way he liked it.

I heard a distant sound, a song? I heard the song look at me! by xxxtentacion for some reason? oh it's his phone.

"Lemme get that, brb babe."

Nick finally pulled out and went to check his really expensive phone like damn have u seen that shit deadass 

"OH MY GODODODOOD HI!!! NICKY!! I'm HERE WITH fucking. CAL AND BROOKE BBBDBDBD D D. !!!"

sounded like Garrett?!? what the hell ?!?! 

Nick was face timing him. This could only mean one thing....

"Oh my GOD IS THAT SIMON!!!!????? LMMMMAOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

shit Brian

**Author's Note:**

> kudos now


End file.
